MidLife Crazy
by SemperFiNeverForget051909
Summary: McGee and Abby get a little ruthless in helping Tony pull his head out of his ass. Because, sometimes-most of the time?-it's really hard to get stuff through that thick skull of his. Especially the more serious matters...which concern Ziva. ONE-SHOT.


**AN #1: Hello. New story (Obviously). This one's tagged to False Witness (8.10) so slight spoilers. It's nothing big though. And some from a few previous episodes of Season 8 that have aired in 2010.**

**Disclaimer: Not going to ask Santa to give NCIS as my Christmas gift. Seriously.**

**Summary: McGee and Abby get a little ruthless in helping Tony pull his head out of his ass. Because, sometimes-most of the time?-it's really hard to get stuff through that thick skull of his. Especially the more serious matters.**

* * *

7:00 PM, after-case drinks.

Only thing is, Gibbs isn't present. Gone home. Probably working on the boat, as usual. Ducky's gone home too. Because it's not like he's gonna spend time with us this late. I mean, it's not late. But we'd all most likely go home late anyway, seeing as tomorrow's a weekend.

"Really, guys. This is stupid, I know. But something's not right. I can feel it. Gut tells me there's something hinky about this…"

And oh yeah. Tony's not in a good mood too. I forgot. That's another reason why we won't be going home early tonight. You may be asking why he's like this. What has gotten into him this time? What is causing his misery tonight?

"That man. Miami Guy? Has she mentioned him to any of you?"

There's your answer. That Mysterious Miami Man. Or Mr. M, as I call him. The thing is, Ziva's met this person in Miami when she was there for work-related reasons. And I do believe that it's work-related since I trust her and she won't lie to me after what happened last time….Yeah, so, back to the story. She met him in Miami and they hit it off pretty good. They've become instant friends. The fact that Ziva hasn't cut communication with him is definitely something.

"Yeah, she's mentioned it once. Twice…? She also said she's going skiing with him." McGee replied, and took a swig of his beer.

"See? That's what wrong!" Tony screeched. It's kinda weird hearing him talk like that. Very un-Tony.

"Ziva even barely knows this guy, and yet she's spending her Christmas with him!" He continued, not giving a damn that everyone started looking at our table now. Which is getting embarrassing.

McGee must've felt the eyes of other customers on us, so kicked DiNozzo's foot under the table. "Tony. Calm down. People are staring."

Tony frowned but then put on a smile. He waved the on-lookers away. "Okay guys, nothing to see here. Go back to you own drinks." He announced. Then he turned back to us.

"So, where was I? Oh. She doesn't even know this guy too well! And she's going out with this man already?" He repeated, but this time, his voice was softer and controlled.

McGee shrugged. "I don't see what the problem is. So what if she's going on a date with Miami Guy? Isn't it so that they'd get to know each other more?"

"Yeah," Tony sighed. "But…I'm not sure. What if this turns out to be another Rivkin? Or some other guy that would just hurt her in the end? I know I'm supposed to trust her. But if something happens because I didn't look after her, I won't be able to live with myself."

As he put his head in his hands, I took in what he just said. It's not difficult to understand. He just means that it's his job to have her back because, they're partners. She's his partner.

She's his responsibility.

Yep, totally a Partners Thing.

But of course, it goes beyond that. The "looking-out-for-each-other".

It goes beyond their partnership.

Maybe even more than friendship, although I'm not gonna start assuming now. With the way Tony and Ziva have been acting recently…. They're really confusing, and for a pretty smart girl like me, I myself can't tell what the deal is between them. Honestly. I don't think anyone can. Well, maybe Gibbs can…but most of the time when you so much as ask if they're into each other, either they deny deny deny _( No, we're just co-workers, that's all we are.)_ or...simply nothing. It's like talking to a block of ice. Or a brick wall. Or a telephone post.

Hell, even the worst days of Major Mass Spec are a thousand times better than trying to figure those two people out. At least, with Major Mass Spec, you'd still get answers. With Tony and Ziva…I don't know. Sometimes I wonder why people even bother asking what their relationship is.

Because hey, I get tired of some things too. Even Abigail Scuito gets fed up .

Timmy rolled his eyes at Tony's behavior. "Tony, Ziva's a big girl, alright? She can take care of herself. She knows how to kill a hundred ways using anything, so if Miami Guy tries to hurt her, he'd be dead before he can even blink. Stop worrying your head, man."

"Yeah, yeah. Super Ninja Moves. I know that too. But really. Isn't it supposed to be family first?" Tony glanced at McGee.

"Yeah, but it's not like we see each other only once a month or something." When Tony didn't answer back, Timmy turned to me. I raised my eyebrows at him as I nibbled on the straw of my now-gone drink.

"Let's see what Abby thinks. Abby, what's your opinion on this? You…uh, you've been very quiet since Tony started his rant on the Mr. R issue.

"Oh. Well. I was enjoying my drink. And you guys were really entertaining, so I just kept quiet," Because damn right I was entertained. "But now you've asked, prepare yourself for my speech." I said cheerfully.

"Abs, keep your speech short." Tony held the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger.

"Maybe if you let me speak now I'd finish in time." I retorted with a smile.

"Whatever." He threw back.

"Okay. Here it goes. I think that, based on what I heard—what you've said—and aside from being Ziva's partner and that it's your obligation to have her back— you are jealous. You are threatened by this guy's presence, and that Ziva seems to like him. And that there's a possibility that she may be romantically attracted to him. And that, he is too. With her. "

So I may just have stated the obvious and the possibilities, but who cares? It's not as if Tony would acknowledge this by himself.

"Ziva seems to think…okay of him." I added. Probably more than okay, but I didn't want to use an adjective such as charming and that crap.

In the end I didn't have to anyway because Tony supplied it for me after all. "What? Charming?" Tony scoffed.

"Maybe. But you're the one who said that. So. Charming. What else? Hot. Handsome. Good-looking? A Men's Health Magazine coverboy? Is that what you mean?" I wiggled my eyebrows in amusement and McGee laughed at troubled Tony.

"Seriously, Abby? You think that's good enough?" He asked incredulously.

"A gentleman? Kind? Thoughtful? Smart? The kind of guy parents will definitely approve of?" I ploughed on, seeing Tony's anger rise as he looked more and more like a petulant 5-year old who didn't get his candy.

He threw his hands up in surrender. "Whoa whoa whoa. Stop it right there. You're not making things any better by comparing me to South Beach Boy. I don't need this." He motioned to the bartender for another drink.

And that's when it hit me and Timmy right here, how deep this craziness Tony has for Ziva goes.

For the love of Bert, he just convinced us even more that he's definitely jealous.

"Hey, look here DiNozzo. You asked for a freaking opinion. Actually, McGee did." I narrowed my eyes at the latter.

"Abs, it's not the point. What if he's not really good enough? What if he can't give her what she needs? Or wants?" He insisted.

"Oh God, Tony," I replied exasperatedly."Of course he's not good enough! You're jealous. Every other man that tries to make a move on her automatically becomes not good enough."

"Abby, for the last time, I am not jealous. Stop telling me that I am. It's getting irritating." He shot back.

Unfortunately though, neither McGee nor I were listening to him.

"Okay, let's say I am." He conceded. " I only want what's best for her. She needs someone who knows her, doesn't she? Someone she can trust with no shadow of a doubt. Right?"

"And you think you fit the bill?" Asked McGee.

"Yeah….I mean, we all do. We're her friends! We're family! Gibbs. You. Abby. Ducky. Even Palmer. I think we know her better than Miami Guy does. Why, don't you want that for her? That she's comfortable?"

I took his hand in mine. "Yes, we're friends. We're Ziva's family. Of course we want what's best for her too," And then I softened my voice. "But if Miami Man turns out to be a love interest, and they click, and that makes her happy, and she thinks that's what's best, then we'll support her."

"And, as friends—and family—it is our responsibility to kick the guy's ass if he takes her for granted. That is, after she's through beating him up herself….but, it's not our job—it's not YOUR job—too dictate what makes her happy. Unless, you want to be the one putting a smile on her face, then go make a move. A bolder one. Step up. Fight for whatever it takes to…'cause you've gone through stuff scarier than the prospect of Ziva finding someone else. "

I paused for added effect. "And another thing, don't just stop with 'Handle with care, contents priceless.'"

At this, McGee smirked.

Tony looked up, shock written all over his features. "What?"

"We have ears and eyes Tony. _Big Brother is watching you._" McGee's smirk turned into a smile.

"Well, screw it. This is easier said than done, people." Tony conceded.

Now it was McGee's turn to get all crabby. "What? You're giving up now? Tony, get yourself together. Ziva won't be waiting for someone to come along forever, got it? She's here to make a home for herself but you're tying her down. Just let her go. If you don't have the balls, you might as well say goodbye to your chances of sharing the American Dream with her. She's worthy of that Tony, and you're depriving her of that opportunity if you can't decide whether you want this as bad as she does. "

Tony was speechless. I was speechless too, to be honest.

"Wow, McGee," Tony breathed out and drank the last of his beer. "That was very profound."

"Abby and I are just helping you pull your head out of your ass. It's about time you finally made a choice. You're not getting any younger; Ziva's not getting any younger. You only have one go at this."

"Fine. You got me cornered. You win. Can we go now? I'm sleepy."

I frowned and McGee rolled his eyes. Typical Tony to just run away from this.

"Okay, Tony. Whatever you say. But mark our words." I stabbed my index finger at his chest. "Think about it."

And with that, we paid the bill and left.

* * *

**AN2: I tried to be realistic with this fanfic. I hope I did not get the characterization wrong, it's just how I think they'd react when they all get tired of putting up with Tony's crap. Especially the kind of crap that involves a specific Ninja. Also, I think that Tony and Ziva are progressing this season,-albeit verrrrry slowly (but it's better than nothing, yes?)- although I'm not closing myself to the possibility that Mr. Miami Guy is more than just a friend. I'm not being pessimistic. I just want to prepare myself for the "worst", because truthfully, it's not like Tony and Ziva are gonna get together this season anyway. Unless, you know, CdP doesn't renew her contract. WHICH I THINK SHE WILL. It could be an "easy way out", if I can say that, to give Ziva a happy ending with someone else IF Tony doesn't get his ass moving soon.  
**

**Review? **


End file.
